Let Andy steer the battle-tank
By John Dickinson on 18th May 07
Without a single original thought in his head, Editor JD goes bandwagon jumping with a vengeance and lands smack in the middle of Andy Foulkes' madly careering cart...
I DON'T normally resort to plagiarising (nicking other people's ideas!) when it comes to the page five column - I don't need to, I've managed for years with more than enough ideas of my own - but this week I will make an exception! And the person who's ideas I am going to steal, no nothing so blatant as stealing, let's say borrow, is last week's page four columnist Andy Foulkes!
Foulkesy, like ourselves an off-road nut from way-back, really played a blinder last week, his first (oh yes, there will be more) guest column was a mini-masterpiece that had me chuckling and nodding my head enthusiastically from beginning to end. The guy talks so much sense I would like to nominate him right now as Commander-in-Chief of off-road motorcycling, his role being to steer the battle-tank that is our glorious sport into the current century, one that we collectively appear to be struggling to come to terms with.
Andy's take on technology, or rather a lack of it, is something I would like to add my two-pennyworth. He is quite right, the silhouette of your average MXer or Enduro bike has not changed a jot in a quarter of a century.
It has if you believe the press releases of course. Each year chassis are stronger yet lighter and engines are more powerful. By now chassis strength should be up there with the forth rail bridge while lightness should be less than a helium balloon.
Most of the PR stuff is pure sales gimmick of course and we all take it with a pinch of salt. My personal favourite each year is the rear suspension unit. You ought to know how this one goes - this year it is made of steel ‘for maximum strength' while next year's model features an aluminium body ‘for increased lightness' of course although I'm not exactly sure how you increase lightness.
This trick is great news for the after-market manufacturers of course. They work absolutely in sync with the major factories - but exactly 12 months out of phase.
Hence while the factories are on a steel and strength kick, the aftermarket boys are in their aluminium and lightness run. Everybody wins - no-one forces us to buy an after-market shock but we all do anyway - because it is stronger OR lighter!
Mr Foulkes's take on land erosion is pure common sense. He is bang on the button, there isn't a track or a trail that cannot be repaired - see what happens to an ‘irreparable' trail if it is left alone for a couple of years. In nine cases out of ten you can't even see it has ever existed. I witnessed just this phenomenon in Scotland last week. It's amazing what nature can do all on her own. The irreparable damage line screamed by the greenies (or more correctly by the ‘ramblers') is pure hooey.
Foulkes and T+MX agree 100 per cent on the Noise front. The associations and the manufacturers have been playing games for far too long on this one.
Fact: competition bikes are too noisy, Joe Public will NOT tolerate the racket nor should he have to.
Answer: stop talking shop, set an acceptable noise limit, enforce it and stick to it. If we don't, we lose the tracks anyway and have been doing in spades in the last couple of years.
Talking of noise, Andy mentioned an AC/DC concert where they dished out ear-plugs as you walked through the door.
On a personal note I wish they had done the same in the Ben Nevis pub in Fort William last week where, while I enjoyed the delights of a ‘pit of heavy' a local three-piece rock combo had the amps cranked up to 11 on the scale from 1 to 10.
It was almost impressive but I have to report I haven't a clue what anyone was talking about the following day, and I don't lip read, so if anyone at the Scottish on Saturday morning asked me where I'd been the previous day and I answered, -''Half past two!'' I apologise.
Regarding Andy's final take on the most mild-mannered person changing into a wild-eyed maniac, simply by slipping on an official armband, I really don't know what he is talking about and must therefore refrain from comment.
I deal with a lot of officials you see and to a man (and woman), they all seem perfectly reasonable to me. Andy... perhaps you rub them up the wrong way!